A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, "Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo."
The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the same policeman. The policeman said, "Hey there, I thought I told you to take that money to the zoo!"
The boy answered, "I did! Today I'm taking him to the cinema."
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, but was very stingy.
Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
"Wait just a moment!"
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
Her friend said,
"Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with
The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my
word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my
account, and wrote him a check... . If he can cash it, then he can spend